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The Dos and Don'ts of Dorm Shopping

8/10/2018

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Take it from someone who did all of her dorm shopping the week before she moved in during her freshman year: dorm shopping, though it can be fun, can also be extremely stressful. It can be tempting to hit Home Goods like a hurricane and buy every cute strand of string lights and set of decorative pillows you can find, but taking a moment to plan out your shopping trip can be much easier on your psyche (and your wallet)! Below, I give you the dos and don'ts of shopping for school. 
DO 
  • Make a list. Shopping without a list can be your ultimate downfall. Some schools have suggested packing lists for students, but if you are going in blind, there are tons of compiled lists online that can give you some guidance for what will be essential in your room. 
  • Ship the big stuff to school. Most universities will allow you to send some of your bigger items to your campus mailbox before your move in. This can be a lifesaver when you are trying to fit all of your dorm supplies into your sedan. Ship as much as you can to school beforehand to save yourself time and space on move-in day. 
  • Invest in things that will last. You may think that three hundred dollars on a Tempur-pedic mattress topper seems excessive, but I promise you will not regret that investment. College mattresses do not have to be part of your transformative experience. Your freshman year can be expensive because you are making big purchases for the rest of your college career. Though it may be difficult to face spending a lot of money up front, making smart investments will save you expenses down the road.
  • Find space-saving organizers. Under-bed storage is a blessing. Dorm rooms can be quite small, so finding smart ways to organize can make or break your space. Look for solutions like under-bed boxes, hutches for above your bed or desk, and drawer organizers. Making the most of your closet space is also essential. Look for hanging sweater and pants organizers, shoe racks, and cloth hangers. 
  • Bring cleaning supplies. Some schools offer students vacuums or brooms to rent for their rooms, but you may be better off owning them. Make sure to bring some kind of duster, a broom (or vacuum if your dorm is carpeted), and bathroom cleaner if you have an in suite restroom. Also, stock up on laundry detergent before you go because you will be doing laundry (eventually). 
  • Think about a dorm concept. Do you want your space to be rustic? Zen? Coastal? Coming up with a design for your dorm before you shop can give your purchases more direction, saving you money and stress! If you have roommates, it may be a good idea to coordinate decorating styles. 
  • Bring entertainment options. I relied on my vinyl and massive speakers to get me through stressful times at school. Binge-watching the Office never hurt either. Whether its a television, some speakers, or anything else, be sure to have some entertainment options in your dorm to give you outlets for relaxation. Rooms that are all work and no play...well, anyone who has seen The Shining knows that they can drive you crazy. 
  • Invest in a mini fridge. Leftover pizza? Mini fridge. Late night ice cream runs? Mini fridge. Dining hall food that you took because you are on an unlimited meal plan and want to test the limits of just how unlimited you really are? Mini fridge. My parents forced me to get one, even though I swore I wouldn't need it, and I could not be more grateful to them.
  • Create a space that reflects you. Making your dorm feel like yours can make college feel a little more like home. Fill it with pictures of friends and family. Decorate in your favorite colors. Bring that ratty old stuffed animal you've had since you were seven (no one will judge you, I promise). 

DON'T
  • Feel like you need to buy everything at once. Amazon exists for a reason. Don't be afraid to go to school without  every single decoration you think you need. You can always order more for your room. As long as you have a bed and some pens, you are all set for your first week. 
  • Overestimate the size of your dorm. Dorms are very, very small. Of course, you want to get that futon, the matching beanbag chair, and the ottoman. It's unlikely that all of those lovely decorations will fit though. If your school does not give you a floor plan or dimensions, err on the side of caution. It is a lot easier to get more things than to send things back after hours of trying to rework your furniture to make them fit. 
  • Go in blind. While having a list makes shopping efficient and productive, not knowing what you want or need can make what should be a fun experience very hectic. Break your shopping sessions up across several days, assigning a specific goal to each day, to make sure that you don't get overwhelmed. 
  • Split big purchases with your roommates. It can be so tempting to split the price of the common room TV among the four of you, but what are you going to do at the end of the year when only one person can take it home? You will be better off splitting up big purchases to one per person. For example, instead of each person paying a portion of the cost of the fridge, the couch, and the TV, have one person buy one item in full. That way there are no heated debates over who has the right to the furniture at the end of the year. 
  • Buy "college safe" decorations to hang on your walls. Cue me, hanging up my adorable Pottery Barn "dorm safe" pin board on the wall above my bed on move-in day. Cut to five minutes later, where you will find me trying to recenter said board, only to leave four holes in the plaster of my dorm room wall. Stick to poster gum and double sided tape if you want to be extra safe. As for Command strips...use at your own risk. 
  • Expect everything to fit perfectly. No matter how much planning you do in advance, it is almost inconceivable that your room is going to look exactly as you imagined it. On move-in day, you are going to have to roll with the punches. Be prepared to leave some things behind. 
  • Get caught up in Pinterest. Along the same vein, don't expect your dorm to look like a Pinterest board. Don't get me wrong: you can create a beautiful dorm room. But getting lost in trying to make your room look perfect  can cause unnecessary stress. Instead, create a space that makes you feel comfortable. The aesthetics will come. 
  • Worry. Shopping for your first college dorm should be fun. It's a special occasion, and even though it can be stressful at times, you want to have predominately good memories.
The day I moved into my freshman dorm, I left four holes on my bedroom wall, but I also bought an amazing Pulp Fiction poster to cover them up. I realized that the cheap hanging door mirror my roommates and I had purchased made us look huge, but we also laughed like crazy about it. My roommate and I had to un-loft the bunk beds and left a nick in the wall, but it also showed us that we could handle living on our own. Everything will not be perfect when you move into your first college dorm. That does not mean it won't be one of the most fun, significant days of your life. 

​-Alexis Mealey
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12 Pieces of Literature Everyone should Read

8/7/2018

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I firmly believe that being well-read is one of the greatest assets a person can possess. Reading widely allows us to connect with cultures that are not our own, create a sense of mutual understanding based on shared humanity, and learn things about ourselves in the process. 
I personally abide by the code that all books are worth reading, but there are some books that are life changing. These are the books that stop you in your tracks and force you to pay attention. The books that leave you turning the final page over again and again because you cannot bear the thought of the story being over. The books that make you laugh out loud, or fall to your knees and weep. The fourteen books I have listed below changed my life, and I hope that one of them may do the same for you. 
  1.  Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison. This is one of the most underappreciated books in the global literary canon, and one of the most influential pieces of American literature ever written. Invisible Man follows the story of a black, unnamed narrator who escapes the oppression of the South in the early 20th century, only to find that the idyllic world of the North presents a set of obstacles all its own. In a stunning display of symbolism coupled with unparalleled prose, the Invisible Man struggles with identity, individuality, and political pressures  in a way that will leave you breathless.  
  2. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. To Kill a Mockingbird is the first book I can remember that made me weep. Following the story of hero-lawyer Atticus Finch and his two children, To Kill a Mockingbird conveys a story of racial injustice, pressures of gender conformity, and the dangers of prejudgment under the guise of  a playful bildungsroman filled with characters with which you will fall in love.
  3. Ulysses by James Joyce. One of the most fantastic works in the English language, James Joyce's magnum opus is set over the course of a single day in Dublin, following Stephen Dedalus and Leopold Bloom. It is impossible to list all of the issues tackled in Ulysses. A piece you have to read more than once to appreciate, Ulysses combines the real and the fantastic to create a narrative that runs the gamut of literary themes, from the dangers of religious hypocrisy to symbolic use of the kidney.
  4. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Garcia Marquez's One Hundred Years of Solitude tackles the story of the Buendia family, set over 100 years in the town of Macondo. The novel presents a commentary on issues ranging from the dangers of colonialism to the importance of tradition to the role of matriarchs within a family. Garcia Marquez creates a novel laden with symbolism in phenomenal prose. 
  5. My Bondage and My Freedom by Frederick Douglass. The first nonfiction piece on this list, My Bondage and My Freedom is the autobiography of Frederick Douglass, dealing with his life in slavery, his escape, and his experiences with freedom. This heart-wrenching piece is a testament to human resilience, and also the human capacity for cruelty, that every American should read before graduating high school. 
  6. To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf. Yet another novel that follows a family, To the Lighthouse follows the Ramsay family and their visits to the Isle of Skye between 1910 and 1920. The modernist novel deals with gender roles, family structures, and love within the plot, while also exploring the philosophical nature of storytelling itself.
  7. The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien.  In a book that blends fact and fiction, Tim O'Brien catalogs the story of a platoon of American soldiers fighting a ground war in Vietnam. In a narrative that presents a commentary on truth, humanity in times of crisis, and the damage done by war, O'Brien creates a war story that will make you weep, laugh, and discover elements of your own nature.
  8. Cry, the Beloved Country by Alan Paton. Set in apartheid South Africa, Cry, the Beloved Country follows two father-son pairs: the Kumalos, an African family struggling for survival in a valley, and the Jarvises, a wealthy white family living on the hill who support apartheid. When Stephen Kumalo discovers that his son, Absalom, murdered the son of James Jarvis, the fathers meet. What follows presents a moving political commentary on the state of South Africa in the 1960s, but also a look into human nature. 
  9. Night by Elie Wiesel. The second nonfiction piece on this list, Night is Elie Wiesel's harrowing autobiography on his experience with his father in a concentration camp during the Holocaust. You must be the proper head-space to handle this piece of nonfiction, as Wiesel spares no detail in describing the crimes against humanity committed in the camp. This book is difficult to get through without becoming sick to your stomach, but it is necessary all the while.  
  10. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. A modern classic in the making, Hosseini's Kite Runner shines a light on both the human capacity for goodness and that for evil. Set in Kabul, Afghanistan, the novel follows the growth of a boy named Amir and his closest friend Hassan through Soviet military occupation, the rise of the Taliban, and American intervention. The Kite Runner presents a moving narrative of love, sacrifice, and a quest for redemption that is guaranteed to leave you speechless. 
  11. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck.  Of Mice and Men is barely more than one hundred pages, but it presents one of the greatest  platonic love stories of all time. Follow quick-witted George and gentle giant Lennie, two migrant workers travelling during the Great Depression, as they experience hope and despair that provide the ultimate test of the boundaries of brotherly love. 
  12. Lord of the Flies by William Golding. Following the story of a group of British boys stranded on a desert island, Lord of the Flies presents a harrowing allegory for the global governance as the boys attempt to establish a system of government on the island. Golding's prose presents an easy-read on the surface of the novel, but be prepared to encounter complicated philosophical questions and implications once you venture below it. 
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10 Ways to Make the Most of your First Semester

8/2/2018

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Your first college semester can set the tone for your entire year, and maybe even your college experience. During your first semester, you create first impressions of your campus, professors, and peers. These impressions can stick with you until you graduate, so you want to make sure that they are the best they can possibly be! Here are ten tips to make your first semester great: 

1. Go to all of your classes. This is probably the first time in your life that you can skip class "without consequences." Resist the allure of rolling back over when your alarm goes off for that pesky 8:30am section because I promise, there will be consequences. You are in class significantly less in college than you were in high school which means that every hour matters. You never know when there will be a pop quiz that you'll have to take a zero on because you overslept.  Be strong. Go to class (unless of course you are sick). 
2. Sit with new people in the dining hall...eat in the dining hall. No matter how awful the food may be, your campus dining hall is a great place to meet new people, especially during your first few weeks of school. Whether you know no one at your new school or it feels like your entire high school class went to the same university, make an effort to sit with new people. You never know when you could bond with your future best friend over under cooked chicken.
3. Get involved with some clubs. Don't overwhelm yourself with extracurricular activities in your first semester of college, but make an effort to join at least one student organization. Student groups are a great way to meet new people, especially those who share your interests. They can provide a sense of community and belonging on an unfamiliar campus.
4. Attend social events. It can be easy to just hole up with a bag of Doritos and your favorite Netflix series to binge.  Make an effort to go out every once in a while to feel a sense of community and connect with new people. Go to a party, attend a sporting event, or gather some people to go to a local concert. 
5. Get to know your professors. My professors were the highlight of my first semester. Introduce yourself to your professors in your first week of classes. Attend office hours for classes in which you are interested. Building relationships with professors will help you to not only understand and enjoy the material, but also to get to know someone at the top of your desired field. These relationships are extremely rewarding, and extremely useful when you need a letter of recommendation for graduate school or internships.
6. Try new things. Your first semester of school is a great time to step outside your comfort zone. Do you have a secret love for ultimate Frisbee? Find an intramural team! Are you passionate about singing? Join an a capella group! College is the perfect time to explore your interests. Trying something new can lead you to something you will pursue for the rest of your life.
7. Focus on doing your best, not someone else's. Everyone becomes a small fish in a big pond in college. It can be so easy to compare yourself to others and begin to experience self-doubt, wondering if your accomplishments are good enough. This mentality will only paralyze you and prevent you from reaching your fullest potential. Focus on doing your best, and being the best version of yourself, instead of comparing yourself to other people. 
8.  Spend time outside. College dorms can be pretty dreary (no matter how Pinterest-worthy). Be sure to get some fresh air for at least half an hour every day. Being outdoors can help you feel less cooped up, and it can help you escape the stresses of your dorm room (i.e. that pile of unfinished problem sets due tomorrow). 
9.  Explore your area. Whether you feel like you are in the middle of nowhere or you're living in the heart of an urban area, use your first semester to explore your college town.  Scope out the best local restaurants, find the best shopping in your area, and explore some historical landmarks. Better yet, do it all with a new college friend!
10. Make self-care a priority. One of my best freshman year memories was spending an afternoon at the spa, followed by a five course Italian meal with one of my good friends after one of the most stressful weeks of my life. I'm not saying you have to go all out on spa treatments and fancy food every time you feel stressed, but make self care a priority. Exercise every day. Take walks. Extend your shower by a few minutes once a week (the Earth will forgive you). Take care of your mind and body. As important as school may be, your personal health is much more permanent. 
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Escaping the Echo Chamber

7/30/2018

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People enter college at all different phases of life. Some people walk in on their first day, ready to tell you their thirty year plan. Others have no idea what they want to do, and come in ready to explore all of their options. Neither of these approaches to school are incorrect, and one is not better than the other. No matter what your perspective is though, college is a time to explore new perspectives, develop your beliefs, and begin to solidify your values. 

That said, it can be easy to go into college thinking that you have it all figured out (I am Exhibit A). You may think that your beliefs are set in stone, planted by your upbringing and grown through your resolve. With this kind of a closed mindset, people are likely to seek out individuals and groups that reinforce their preexisting beliefs to provide a sense of security in those values. This kind of thinking, however, is unproductive. 

When we engage only with people and groups with which we agree, we lose valuable opportunities for personal and professional growth. These situations create "echo chambers" where we, surrounded by beliefs that mirror our own, can gain a sense of false comfort and feel validated in our positions. These groups encourage us to dig our heels into the ground, state our case, and refuse to waver. 

This is exactly what I did when I got to school. A proud GOP member, I immediately enlisted in all of the conservative groups I could find, shunning those that I felt did not agree with my values. As the year went on though, I found myself becoming more radical. I began to question what it was I truly believed in, to question my motives for putting myself in the spaces I had chosen to occupy. This questioning only began though when I was challenged for the first time by a fellow student in the dining hall, who introduced me to the concept of unaffiliated centrism and directed me to an organization that supported moderate, independent political candidates for state and federal offices. Though I still consider myself conservative leaning, I left the College Republicans shortly after that conversation. Today, I am part of a national movement of centrist voters aimed at encouraging nonpartisan cooperation in government. None of this would have been possible had that conversation never occurred. 

To break out of your own echo chamber, it is crucial to adopt a growth mindset. Carol Dweck, who coined the term, writes that with a growth mindset "people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment." Adopting this attitude in college will allow you to deal with cognitive dissonance and ideological diversity in a way that is productive, rather than paralyzing. 

 You can begin to embrace this mindset by actively seeking out groups with which you disagree. Are you a staunch Republican? Try attending a meeting led by the College Democrats to better understand their viewpoints. Maybe you are vehemently pro-choice. Start a dialogue with pro-life students on campus, rather than condemning them. 

At Harvard, I serve as the Treasurer of the Network of Enlightened Women, an organization for conservative women to come together on campus. Earlier this year, we hosted conservative commentators Mary Katharine Ham and Guy Benson for a meeting with our group. Several left-leaning women attended the event, and they posed some of the most insightful questions I had heard. After the panel discussion was over, we were able to sit and talk with one another, and several of them commented that their perceptions of our organization and of conservative women in general had been altered just by attending that meeting. 

When you go out of your way to seek out constructive disagreement, you will be better prepared to deal with it in "real life." You may even find yourself beginning to change your mind. Hearing opposing viewpoints allows you to question your beliefs, change your mind, or build on your current values. 

No matter how you approach constructive disagreement, you will be better off for it. What do you have to lose by hearing from those who are different from you? 

America's strength is in its diversity. If we avoid that diversity rather than embracing it, we do a disservice to ourselves, as well as to society at large. Imagine the amount of relationships you might miss out on by limiting your connections to only those people with which you agree. Learning to see beyond ideological differences to recognize the value in another person is part of being a member of a democratic society. What better place to start than college?
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Administrative Overload: 10 Ways to Talk to your Advisers

7/27/2018

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Whether you are in your first year of school or getting ready to graduate, chances are you have some kind of adviser. Advisers can be invaluable points of contact for students, regardless of the level at which you are studying. Building strong relationships with your adviser can help you make the most of your college experience by introducing you to new opportunities and receiving academic guidance. Learning how to seek out help is one of college's most important lessons, but taking the first step to talk to your adviser can feel intimidating. Use these 15 tips to make the most our of your advising experience!

1. Introduce yourself as soon as you get to school. I know that during your first week back at school, the last thing you want to be doing is tracking down advisers to introduce yourself, but making a connection early sets a positive tone for your entire relationship. It shows a sense of initiative that your adviser will appreciate, especially if they are dealing with dozens of other students. 
2. Go to your first meeting prepared with some questions. All advisers are different. My first-year academic adviser loved to talk and have deep, engaging conversations with me, but some of my friends had advisers that seemed like they preferred more professional conversations. Going into your first meeting with a few prepared questions will help you feel confident, while also mitigating the risk of awkward silences. 
3. NO QUESTION IS A DUMB QUESTION. Yes, you've heard this saying a million times, but it really applies to dealing with advisers. Keep in mind that they exist professionally to answer your questions. No matter how "dumb" you feel like your question may be, ask it! It is probably more important than you realize, and trust me, advisers have heard it all. 
4. To that end, ask the right questions. Asking your academic adviser about the weekend scene at your university right off the bat may not be the best idea. Start with questions you have about classes at school. Which classes will help you fulfill general education requirements? What courses are good introductory classes for your chosen field? Are there any electives your adviser recommends? My first year adviser was the director of the Sociology Department. I had never taken sociology in my life, but I took a course on Media and Pop Culture at her recommendation, and it ended up being one of the most fun classes I had ever taken.  Check out our full list of sample questions below!
5. Ask two questions: "What is your favorite aspect of (X university)?" and "What is your least favorite?" Their answers to these questions may surprise you, but I have always found them to be worth asking. Not only do they give you slightly more insight into your chosen school, but they also reveal something about your adviser's priorities, which could help you begin to build a relationship with them. 
6. Talk over your schedule with your adviser.  Even if they don't ask you to show them your schedule, you should make the initiative to talk it over. I can vividly remember my adviser talking me out of adding an additional class that would have given me a crippling workload second semester, and I have been grateful for that every day since. 
7.  Go back after your first meeting! If you only meet with your adviser during the first week of the school year, you will not make the most of what could be an influential relationship. Try to drop by at least once every six weeks to ask more questions, or even just to chat. Keeping your face fresh in your adviser's mind will be good for both you, and your adviser. 
​8.  Keep in touch over email.​ Even if you don't have time to make an appointment to see your adviser, they are still available over email to answer any questions you have that may arise during the school year.  Sending an email will not take you more than five minutes, and I am sure you will be glad you did!
9. Offer a handwritten thank you at the end of the year.  Academic advisers are too often underappreciated. Build a solid relationship with yours, and offer a handwritten thank you note at the end of the year. Some advisers have advising as a career, and others do it on a volunteer basis. Regardless, your adviser works hard to ensure that you have a positive college experience. A thank you will mean more to them than you can imagine. 
10. Know your worth. One of the biggest barriers to asking for advice is feeling as if you are wasting the other person's time by doing so. I promise you are not. They are there to guide you through the college process, and going to them with questions is not a waste of their time. They have chosen to serve as advisers because they love to help students. Know that your questions are valid, and you are worth it. 

15 Questions to Ask your Adviser 

1. What classes do you recommend for general education requirements?
2. What classes do you recommend for my major?
3. Where can I find information on campus events?
4. Are there any extracurricular fairs on campus? How else can I learn about organizations to join?
5. Where can I find tutoring resources or information on building better study skills?
6. Are there any events you highly recommend attending? 
7. What are the most fun things to do around campus? 
8. Does my schedule look okay this semester?
9. Where can I go to find information on applying to and attending graduate school?
10. Are there any professors whose classes I should try to get into? 
11. What do you recommend on campus for someone interested in (insert your extracurricular or academic interest)?
12. Should I get a job on campus? Which positions have good reviews?
13. Where can I find research opportunities for undergraduates? 
14. How is the (insert your major) department here? 
15. What is the most important piece of advice you have to help me make the best of my experience?
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Dealing with Indecision During the "Best Years of your Life"

7/18/2018

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How many times have you heard that your years in college will be the greatest years you will ever have? Even if you have the wisdom to see the falsehood of that statement, it's impossible to deny that there is a lot of pressure to make college exceptional. Your elementary and secondary school years are spent dreaming about it, working to get into that one school, and once you get in, everything complicated in your life will fall perfectly into place, right? 

​Wrong. Let me preface this by stating that college is fun. It's a time to meet new people, explore who you are, and build connections that will last a life time. And yes, you will probably look back on college and notice that a handful of your college memories really are some of the greatest you've ever made. College, though, is not all fun and games. You have to figure out who you want to be, and most of the time, there's pressure to figure that out right now. What do you want to study? What do you want to do? Will you go into the workforce, or should you try to go straight into graduate school? What do you value? Who are you really? 

College is an amalgamation of extreme opposites. You are getting your first taste of adult freedom, while simultaneously feeling restrained by the pressures of school. You feel sure of yourself on campus, while also feeling uncertain of where you fit in the "real world." College is a time in your life rife with indecision, and how you deal with it shapes your experience, while teaching you how to deal with obstacles you will face later in life. 

I'm sitting in the middle of the indecision right now as I enter my second year of college, but I've already handled my fair share. I walked on to Harvard's campus in August 2017 an ardent Republican and a yoga aficionado, just knowing that I was going to concentrate in Government with a secondary in English, join the competitive Mock Trial team and the college Republicans, and graduate in three years before going to Harvard Law School. 

One year has passed. I am returning to Harvard a fierce political independent and weight lifter, concentrating in Philosophy, and definitely taking all four years to graduate. I never tried out for the Mock Trial team, and I didn't run for student government. I left the college Republicans to form a group on campus for political moderates, and who knows whether I'll be in law school three years from now. 

The point is that this year threw every obstacle in my way. Going off to school forced me to question who I am, what I want, and how I am going to accomplish my goals. When I went to college, I made things difficult for myself because I did not want to accept that I did not have my life completely figured out. I could not acknowledge that my thirty year plan might not have been perfect, or even good for me. As a result, I dug my metaphorical heels into the ground, and I resisted change. I forced myself to go to Government events that I did not want to attend. I tried to make myself fit into spaces on campus that I knew in my heart were not where I belonged. 

Why? Because I thought it would be easier. I thought that keeping myself in a state of contentedness rather than reaching for real happiness was good for me. I could not bear the thought of taking a risk to find fulfillment, and failing to do so. I was comfortable; why fix what isn't broken? 

Clearly, I had a change of heart. It came when I was sitting on the floor of Widener Library at 10:30 pm, discussing Descartes's Meditations on First Philosophy with a group of my classmates and my professor. It was the moment I fell in love with philosophy, and I decided to take the words of the Meditations to heart. 

In Descartes's Second Meditation, the meditator is questioning whether she exists. Eventually, she comes to the conclusion of "cogito ergo sum," which translates to "I think, therefore, I am." The meditator uses this to prove her own existence; when I heard it, I decided to use it to affirm mine. 

Cogito ergo sum. Those three Latin words sent me into an existential spiral. If thinking is the essence of existence, then didn't a constant denial of my innermost thoughts constitute a constant denial of my own existence? Why was I so intent on following a path I had fabricated for myself years ago, when my mind was begging me to move in another direction?

That night changed my life. In that moment, I decided to stop denying my reason, instead combining it with my passions to create a path that made me truly happy. When I was faced with cognitive dissonance, I asked myself why I was experiencing it, and I used my reason to carve a new path that avoided it. I questioned my preconceptions, challenged my beliefs, and constructed a new system of values. These values have led me to some incredible opportunities, experiences that have brought me true joy. 

What does this have to do with you and dealing with indecision in college? Everything. College is so often described as a place designed to challenge you, but the challenge goes so far beyond the classroom. You need to challenge yourself. Examine your beliefs, dissect them, and decide which ones are worth keeping. Rebuild your character and your system of values to create a person who is confident, life-affirming, and happy. 

When you are faced with indecision, ask yourself why you are feeling it. Trace it back to your values, and reason your way through it. I know, I know: easier said than done. You are right. Dealing with indecision in college is not by any means easy, especially when it feels as if the stakes are higher than ever. Indecision, though, helps us towards inner discovery. It forces us to adapt, to progress in order to address the obstacles ahead. 

Face indecision head on, and do not fear failure. Failure allows us to grow. It shows us that somewhere along the line, there was an error in the mechanics of our decision making, and it teaches us to review our mistakes to become stronger. I am by no means the expert on dealing with self doubt, but I can tell you from personal experience that in our moments of indecision, there are no wrong answers. Every time you are faced with a challenging decision, you are faced with an opportunity for growth. Follow your reason combined with your passion, and do not be afraid to embrace change. After all, these are the best years of your life. 

​-Alexis Mealey
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15 Things You Will Definitely Need at College (but Forgot to Pack)

7/11/2018

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Packing for school can be overwhelming. Between reviewing the hundred item checklist you find on the internet, trying to figure out what will fit in your car, and making sure you don't overload your boxes, it can be easy for certain (very) important items to get lost in the shuffle. Here's a list of fifteen items you'll be sure to want at school: 
  1. Mattress pad. Universities are designed to challenge students and to prepare them for struggles they are likely to face in the real world. College mattresses are no exception. Make sure you bring a nice, cozy mattress pad to place on top of your prison -- I mean college mattress, and I promise your back will thank you. 
  2. Mattress encasement. "Why would I need a mattress encasement? There could never be bed bugs at my prestigious school," said I at the beginning of my freshman year. Cue the third week in November, when my roommate found a bed bug in our room, leading to four separate bed bug treatments, countless loads of laundry, and three months of anguish. Thirty dollars on a mattress encasement is beyond worth not having to pay to wash your entire wardrobe five times over. 
  3. Surge protector. Was your school founded before 1950? Chances are, your room is not going to have enough power outlets to charge your phone, laptop, and iPad all while running your hair dryer, mini fridge, and TV. Protect yourself from power surges the night before your final paper is due, and invest in a surge protector. 
  4. Headphones. This probably seems obvious, but headphones are one of the easiest things to forget about in the moving process. Just remember them. 
  5. An extra phone charger. There is nothing worse than losing or breaking your phone charger at school, then being forced to hunt around your new college town for a new, likely overpriced charging cord in the middle of December. 
  6. Your passport. Always be prepared for spontaneous adventures!
  7. First aid kit. It's always good to have go-to medicines on hand. Be sure to have some kind of pain reliever, allergy medication, fever reducer, cough suppressant, and Band-Aids. 
  8. Coffee pot. Yeah yeah, I know, some schools don't allow for any kind of coffee pots or kitchen appliances in your dorm room. Of course, you should always follow school policy, but if it's allowed, a coffee pot is an essential dorm appliance for obvious reasons. 
  9. Reusable water bottles. I carry a 64 oz water bottle with me around campus every single day. It has basically become my signature. While you don't have to be quite so intense about it (although I highly recommend it), having a reusable water bottle on campus is essential. Save the environment, stay hydrated, and put all of your club stickers on it. Win-win-win. 
  10. Backrest pillow. Your college headboard will be metal, wood, or nonexistent. If you like to work, relax, or read in bed like yours truly, a backrest pillow is an absolute must. 
  11. Insurance cards. This again may seem obvious, but they are easy to forget. If you have a car on campus, make sure you have your insurance information with it. It is always wise to carry your health insurance card with you as well in case of emergency. 
  12. Desk lamp. The lighting in my dorm was awful. We had two small windows in our common space that we preferred to leave closed because our dorm was located on one of the busiest streets in Cambridge,  so natural light was out too. Having a desk lamp will help you work late into the night without disturbing your roommates, and help you achieve optimal selfie lighting. 
  13. Sleeping bag or air mattress. Chances are, at least one of your friends will want to visit you during the school year. If you don't have a couch in your dorm, bring a sleeping bag or air mattress, so that they can spend the night more comfortably. 
  14. Extension cord. Just as college dorms never have enough outlets, so too do college dorms always put the outlet just close enough to your bed that your phone can rest on it, but never close enough so that you can use it. I don't make the rules. Beat the system with an extension cord. 
  15. Photos. Photos make your dorm feel like home. They take an empty, unfamiliar space, and turn it into something personal that feels like it is really yours. That said, I would strongly advise against buying any kind of wall-hanging photo display, even if it is advertised as "dorm safe." I fell victim to the dorm safe trap. Five holes in the plaster of my dorm wall later, I decided to never fall for it again (although I covered the holes with a Pulp Fiction poster, and all my friends thought I was edgy and cool). 
-Alexis Mealey
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Campus Speech

7/9/2018

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In May of 2017, student at Evergreen State College demanded the firing of a professor who decided not to participate in a white "Day of Absence" in which white students and faculty were requested to remain off campus, even though he offered an open statement as to why he would not attend, citing that it would not be productive disagreement. When conservative commentator Ben Shapiro came to speak at UC Berkeley, nine people were arrested in protests related to his event. These two examples represent a larger trend of increasing tensions over campus expression. The First Amendment protects freedom of speech, but how far does that protection extend within the ivy covered walls of your college campus? 

From a legal standpoint, the conversation around the First Amendment on college campuses has to be divided between public and private universities. At public universities, it is well established that students have all speech rights protected under Amendment I and the law that has followed from it. This is because public universities, in the eyes of the law, are considered to be government entities, meaning that it is unconstitutional to restrict free speech on public campuses. 

Free expression at private universities, however, is another matter. Private schools are not required to guarantee First Amendment protections to their students. While this may appear problematic for free expression (and with good reason), most private universities consider themselves to be ardent proponents of free speech, going out of their way to ensure student speech rights through their student handbooks. This, however, is not guaranteed, and it is within a private university's legal limits to restrict student speech, so long as they make their policies public. 

A legal discussion of campus speech rights only begins to cover the issue of expression on college campuses. Free expression has been framed as a force opposed to inclusion, leading to tensions. A Gallup poll found that 53 percent of students hold diversity to be more important than free speech. Campus culture has become dominated by the idea of microaggressions and safe spaces (for more on this topic, we highly recommend "The Coddling of the American Mind"). Colleges have become more concerned with maintaining sensitivity than with protecting free expression, with students being the driving force behind this shift.

At the FRFF, we believe that this sets students up for failure. Portraying inclusion and free expression as opposites only serves to damage students by preventing them from being exposed to opinions with which they disagree. Moreover, without free expression, it becomes impossible to confront perspectives that we find unfair or offensive, leaving this viewpoints to fester and cause animosity through a lack of understanding. Rather than posing the question of whether diversity is more important than free speech, we think that it is impossible to promote and protect diversity without it.

​-Alexis Mealey
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Four Ways to Boost Your Campus Event Turnout

7/7/2018

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      Putting together an event on your college campus can be a daunting task for the uninitiated. Someone who has never booked or promoted an event may think that you just announce an event, put up some posters, and people will come to the event if they see the flyers and think it sounds interesting, but it almost always requires much more effort then that. Putting up a banner for the event in your student union may catch a few eyes, but for many first time promoters, that is where the event promotion begins and ends, so the event will almost certainly get lost in a sea of posters and banners. Based on my eight years of event booking and promotion, these are four tips to get your event more exposure and help you get butts in seats. These are not the only things you can do, but it's a great start!   
  1. Flyering
     This may sound like obvious, but there is more to flyering than sitting at a table in a public area and trying to catch people as they walk by. After putting together an eye catching flyer for your event, you want to get them printed into both full page flyers and also leaflets (four per page is ideal, with each flyer individually cut out). Putting up the large flyers in places like the library, student union, etc is a great start, but the smaller leaflets are just (if not more) important. With your stack of leaflets, go to events happening on campus between a week to two weeks ahead of your event that you think may have people who may be into whatever it is your are trying to promote. Putting up a face for your organization or event is vital. For example, if you are promoting a concert you booked on campus, go to a prior concert on campus with a similar audience to what you are hoping to reach, and hand them out as people are leaving at the end. This not only helps target certain demographics, but it also helps you know who your audience is!
2. Targeted Online Promotion
     On the note of knowing your audience, it isn’t just enough to have physical promotion. Targeted online promotion is just as important. Once you know what people you are trying to reach, cruise around instagram and twitter for hashtags on your campus that are relevant to your event and see how you can incorporate them into your promotional posts. Paying for online advertising on social media can be helpful, but it is not the be-all end-all of online promotion. Boosting posts on Facebook can help, but don’t over-do it by doing it with too many different posts. Also look for Facebook groups for students on campus for events and networking that you can post about your event on.
3. Interactive promotion
When talking about online promotion, you also want to have an element of interaction. Instagram raffles/contests are often a great way to get the word out about your event to a much wider swath of people. If your event has an admission fee, have an IG raffle where users post the flyer for the event and tag a friend in order to be submitted for free entry for two. If the event is free, think of another sort of raffle or contest that can get people promoting your event on their own social media profiles.
4. Campus Coordination
      Involving your school in the promotion process can also be a vital tool. Many colleges have an official event list on their website, which can be an invaluable tool for helping bring in freshman who are looking for ways to meet new people. For events that tie into the curriculum of any classes, it also a great idea to talk to the professors of those classes to see if you can work together to have the teachers assign extra credit for attending your event. Getting the extra boost of students needing a small grade bump is a fantastic way to get more eyes and ears for your organization. Making a signup sheet that you put on the welcome table at the end of the event is a great way to make sure people stick around.


    Following these steps will help build your event turnout in a big way. Just like anything else, the success of your event is directly correlated to how much work you put into its preparation.


-Michael Kent
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11 Ways to Wow at your Next Networking Event

6/30/2018

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Small talk echoes about you as newly minted business cards pass from person to person, as if by way of slight of hand tricks. You look for a familiar face, but find yourself lost in a sea of well-tailored suits and little black dresses. Forced laughter bounces from wall to wall. Your heart beats faster, hands holding on more tightly to that brand new briefcase. You anxiously walk to the bar for some water, avoiding eye contact while secretly hoping someone notices that one statement necklace you so carefully selected with the hope that someone would notice you and start the conversation so that you would not have to approach them first: welcome to your first networking event. 

Okay, that may have been a bit over-dramatic. Today, I love networking events, especially as a student. I was not always so fond of waltzing up to strangers and introducing myself though, and the situation I described above is pretty much a play-by-play of how my first networking event went. It was awkward. I stuck to the corners, had a few meaningless conversations, and left feeling defeated. 

How did I go from discouraged by networking to energized by the very thought of it? I changed my mindset. When I went to my first networking event, I saw it as a chance to get ahead, to make my impression on someone important and leave feeling good about myself. It wasn't until after I had left that event that I realized how such a perspective was preventing me from doing just that. 

Networking is a term that tends to dehumanize your interactions with other people at events. I only started to enjoy networking when I thought about what "networking" really means: building meaningful connections with other people. By meaningful, I don't mean important to succeeding in your career aspirations or to building resume. I am talking about building meaningful human connections to other people, beginning to build a relationship with them because you are generally interested in who they are and what they do rather than how they can benefit you. Start with that mindset, follow these eleven tips, and I promise that your first networking experience will be more enjoyable than mine. 
  1. Dress for optimal confidence. There is nothing worse than being uncomfortable in your outfit at a networking event. Dress in clothing that fits the dress code of the event and makes you feel confident. Try to wear something memorable. That way, when you follow up, you can reference what you wore, and stick out in the memory of someone with whom you connected. My go-to networking outfit is a bright red dress with a black blazer and coordinated red lipstick. It makes me feel confident in my presentation of myself, and it is easy to reference in a follow-up letter or email. 
  2. Be prepared with business cards. It can be difficult to know what to write on a business card as a student when employment positions are fluid and often part-time. A good rule of thumb is to include your name, university, graduating class, and contact information. If you would like to share social media (especially LinkedIn), you can include that information as well. While it is important to have business cards on hand, be wary of distributing them to everyone in the room. It can make you seem disingenuous. Only give a business card to someone who requests it, or someone with whom you have made a strong connection. 
  3. Do not be afraid to make the first move. There are few feelings more awkward than standing by the wall of a networking event with no one to talk to and nowhere to go. Do not be afraid to walk up to someone and begin a conversation. Remember that you have a right to be at the event, and everyone there is in the same position as you. If you are very shy or uncomfortable with making a move like that, bring an extroverted friend with you. Approach people together, and allow them to break the ice for you to hop into the conversation. All that being said, do not interrupt someone in the middle of a conversation. It comes off as abrasive and makes a poor first impression. 
  4. Have a firm handshake. You have probably heard this one time and time again, but it is more important than you can imagine. When you shake someone's hand, maintain a firm grip, but avoid being overpowering. Make eye contact when you shake hands, maintain the handshake for two to five seconds, and include a greeting with it. Displaying confidence in your handshake is one way to grab someone's attention and engage them from the beginning of your interaction. 
  5. Start the conversation with a (genuine) compliment. Do not exchange pleasantries for the shake of flattery, but if you have a genuine compliment to give, it can be a great way to get the conversation moving. What made you want to go up and talk to that person in the first place? Was it their interesting tie or checkered blazer? Did you recognize them from an article or TV appearance that you enjoyed? Knowing why you chose to engage with that person can be a great way to compliment them at the beginning of a conversation. 
  6. Ask questions. This is part of the idea that networking should be about building connections instead of getting ahead. Ask questions about the other person's life. Ask them what they do, and follow up by asking them why they do it. You want to get to know them, and if they are there for the right reasons, they want to get to know you as well. When you are asked questions, answer them directly and honestly. Authenticity goes a long way, especially in shorter interactions. Remember that networking should be a conversation. Make a genuine attempt to get to know the person with whom you are connecting. 
  7. Make eye contact. Yes, you may be distracted by your phone buzzing in your pocket or that loud laughter coming from the opposite side of the room, but resist the urge to become distracted. Eye contact is a sign of engagement and respect. It shows the other person that you value their time and are enjoying the conversation. On the other hand, don't stare into their eyes so much that it makes them uncomfortable. Make eye contact for four to six seconds at a time before looking away, and continue to do so throughout the conversation. 
  8. Have strong body language. It is estimated that anywhere from 60 to 90 percent of all communication is nonverbal. Body language, especially when meeting someone for the first time, is thus crucially important to making a strong impression. Have strong posture, keeping your shoulders back and chin raised slightly. Smile. Try not to cross your arms, as this indicates a lack of confidence and openness to a conversation. I believe myself to be a confident person, but I have a horrible habit of crossing my arms for comfort. One trick to prevent this is to hold a drink in your hand while talking. This both looks natural and prevents unconscious behaviors that could weaken your body language. 
  9. Do not brag. Be proud of your accomplishments, and be honest if someone asks you about them. Do not go out of your way to brag about yourself though. Of course, part of networking is making yourself seem like a connection worth having, but do so through your personality and engagement in your conversations rather than by bragging about your accomplishments. Individuals will see you as someone worth connecting them if you are confident, respectful, and engaging. They probably will not remember that you are president of your school's juggling society, but they will remember if you made a genuine effort to get to know them.
  10. Only request a business card if you feel a connection. Asking someone you just met for a business card can feel awkward, but if you have put the effort into building a real connection, it should feel like a natural next step to continuing the conversation. Do not feel obligated to ask for someone's card just because you spoke with them, and do not feel obligated to offer yours either. Only ask for or offer a card if you feel as if you would enjoy continuing your conversation with that person. 
  11. Follow up. When you make a great connection with someone, you should want to continue the conversation after the networking event ends. Following up with an email (or better yet, a handwritten note) allows you to strengthen your relationship with that person while also helping you to cement your interaction into their mind. Following up is a sign of courtesy, respect, and genuine interest that so infrequently accompanies networking events. 
Even though I have learned to love networking, it can still be difficult at times. I will not guarantee that any of these tips will land you that coveted position as McKinsey and Co. after a phenomenal interaction with a recruiter, but I can promise that changing your mindset towards the networking process will benefit you down the road. Are there tips I missed here? What are your favorite strategies for successful networking experiences! Share your comments below, and we can build some connections right here. 
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