Foster Russell Alliance for Meaningful Expression
  • Programs
    • Event Booking
    • Stereotyped 101
    • You Can Be Perfect...OR You Can Be Happy
    • You Are Enough
    • The Humor Initiative
    • Can We Speak Freely?
    • Laughter Bootcamp
    • Recommendations
  • EVENTS
  • Give
  • Communicate

11 Ways to Wow at your Next Networking Event

6/30/2018

5 Comments

 
Picture
Small talk echoes about you as newly minted business cards pass from person to person, as if by way of slight of hand tricks. You look for a familiar face, but find yourself lost in a sea of well-tailored suits and little black dresses. Forced laughter bounces from wall to wall. Your heart beats faster, hands holding on more tightly to that brand new briefcase. You anxiously walk to the bar for some water, avoiding eye contact while secretly hoping someone notices that one statement necklace you so carefully selected with the hope that someone would notice you and start the conversation so that you would not have to approach them first: welcome to your first networking event. 

Okay, that may have been a bit over-dramatic. Today, I love networking events, especially as a student. I was not always so fond of waltzing up to strangers and introducing myself though, and the situation I described above is pretty much a play-by-play of how my first networking event went. It was awkward. I stuck to the corners, had a few meaningless conversations, and left feeling defeated. 

How did I go from discouraged by networking to energized by the very thought of it? I changed my mindset. When I went to my first networking event, I saw it as a chance to get ahead, to make my impression on someone important and leave feeling good about myself. It wasn't until after I had left that event that I realized how such a perspective was preventing me from doing just that. 

Networking is a term that tends to dehumanize your interactions with other people at events. I only started to enjoy networking when I thought about what "networking" really means: building meaningful connections with other people. By meaningful, I don't mean important to succeeding in your career aspirations or to building resume. I am talking about building meaningful human connections to other people, beginning to build a relationship with them because you are generally interested in who they are and what they do rather than how they can benefit you. Start with that mindset, follow these eleven tips, and I promise that your first networking experience will be more enjoyable than mine. 
  1. Dress for optimal confidence. There is nothing worse than being uncomfortable in your outfit at a networking event. Dress in clothing that fits the dress code of the event and makes you feel confident. Try to wear something memorable. That way, when you follow up, you can reference what you wore, and stick out in the memory of someone with whom you connected. My go-to networking outfit is a bright red dress with a black blazer and coordinated red lipstick. It makes me feel confident in my presentation of myself, and it is easy to reference in a follow-up letter or email. 
  2. Be prepared with business cards. It can be difficult to know what to write on a business card as a student when employment positions are fluid and often part-time. A good rule of thumb is to include your name, university, graduating class, and contact information. If you would like to share social media (especially LinkedIn), you can include that information as well. While it is important to have business cards on hand, be wary of distributing them to everyone in the room. It can make you seem disingenuous. Only give a business card to someone who requests it, or someone with whom you have made a strong connection. 
  3. Do not be afraid to make the first move. There are few feelings more awkward than standing by the wall of a networking event with no one to talk to and nowhere to go. Do not be afraid to walk up to someone and begin a conversation. Remember that you have a right to be at the event, and everyone there is in the same position as you. If you are very shy or uncomfortable with making a move like that, bring an extroverted friend with you. Approach people together, and allow them to break the ice for you to hop into the conversation. All that being said, do not interrupt someone in the middle of a conversation. It comes off as abrasive and makes a poor first impression. 
  4. Have a firm handshake. You have probably heard this one time and time again, but it is more important than you can imagine. When you shake someone's hand, maintain a firm grip, but avoid being overpowering. Make eye contact when you shake hands, maintain the handshake for two to five seconds, and include a greeting with it. Displaying confidence in your handshake is one way to grab someone's attention and engage them from the beginning of your interaction. 
  5. Start the conversation with a (genuine) compliment. Do not exchange pleasantries for the shake of flattery, but if you have a genuine compliment to give, it can be a great way to get the conversation moving. What made you want to go up and talk to that person in the first place? Was it their interesting tie or checkered blazer? Did you recognize them from an article or TV appearance that you enjoyed? Knowing why you chose to engage with that person can be a great way to compliment them at the beginning of a conversation. 
  6. Ask questions. This is part of the idea that networking should be about building connections instead of getting ahead. Ask questions about the other person's life. Ask them what they do, and follow up by asking them why they do it. You want to get to know them, and if they are there for the right reasons, they want to get to know you as well. When you are asked questions, answer them directly and honestly. Authenticity goes a long way, especially in shorter interactions. Remember that networking should be a conversation. Make a genuine attempt to get to know the person with whom you are connecting. 
  7. Make eye contact. Yes, you may be distracted by your phone buzzing in your pocket or that loud laughter coming from the opposite side of the room, but resist the urge to become distracted. Eye contact is a sign of engagement and respect. It shows the other person that you value their time and are enjoying the conversation. On the other hand, don't stare into their eyes so much that it makes them uncomfortable. Make eye contact for four to six seconds at a time before looking away, and continue to do so throughout the conversation. 
  8. Have strong body language. It is estimated that anywhere from 60 to 90 percent of all communication is nonverbal. Body language, especially when meeting someone for the first time, is thus crucially important to making a strong impression. Have strong posture, keeping your shoulders back and chin raised slightly. Smile. Try not to cross your arms, as this indicates a lack of confidence and openness to a conversation. I believe myself to be a confident person, but I have a horrible habit of crossing my arms for comfort. One trick to prevent this is to hold a drink in your hand while talking. This both looks natural and prevents unconscious behaviors that could weaken your body language. 
  9. Do not brag. Be proud of your accomplishments, and be honest if someone asks you about them. Do not go out of your way to brag about yourself though. Of course, part of networking is making yourself seem like a connection worth having, but do so through your personality and engagement in your conversations rather than by bragging about your accomplishments. Individuals will see you as someone worth connecting them if you are confident, respectful, and engaging. They probably will not remember that you are president of your school's juggling society, but they will remember if you made a genuine effort to get to know them.
  10. Only request a business card if you feel a connection. Asking someone you just met for a business card can feel awkward, but if you have put the effort into building a real connection, it should feel like a natural next step to continuing the conversation. Do not feel obligated to ask for someone's card just because you spoke with them, and do not feel obligated to offer yours either. Only ask for or offer a card if you feel as if you would enjoy continuing your conversation with that person. 
  11. Follow up. When you make a great connection with someone, you should want to continue the conversation after the networking event ends. Following up with an email (or better yet, a handwritten note) allows you to strengthen your relationship with that person while also helping you to cement your interaction into their mind. Following up is a sign of courtesy, respect, and genuine interest that so infrequently accompanies networking events. 
Even though I have learned to love networking, it can still be difficult at times. I will not guarantee that any of these tips will land you that coveted position as McKinsey and Co. after a phenomenal interaction with a recruiter, but I can promise that changing your mindset towards the networking process will benefit you down the road. Are there tips I missed here? What are your favorite strategies for successful networking experiences! Share your comments below, and we can build some connections right here. 
5 Comments

Figuring out Free Speech

6/28/2018

1 Comment

 
Picture
The First Amendment: you hear the term tossed around constantly. You hear it as a defense for a controversial tweet, as the basis of a Supreme Court decision, or around your college campus when controversial speakers are invited. What really is the First Amendment thought, from a legal standpoint, and what liberties does it guarantee? The answer is more complicated than it seems. 

Let's start with the basics. The First Amendment full text reads, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances." There are five specific rights guaranteed in Amendment I: freedom of religion, freedom of speech, freedom of press, freedom of assembly, and freedom to petition. 

Freedom of religion, though it has been debated and interpreted differently for centuries, is the most self-explanatory aspect of the First Amendment. Amendment I makes two guarantees regarding freedom of religion: that no laws will be passed to establish a national religion, and that no one will be prohibited from practicing their religion freely. Freedom of the press ensures that the government will not interfere with any individual or group's ability to publish what they see fit. Freedom of assembly guarantees people the right to assemble and take action as groups, while freedom to petition the government protects the right of the people to criticize the government without fear of punishment. While freedom of speech seems to be the most self-explanatory First Amendment right of all, it is one of the most nuanced and complex topics in American legal history. Each of these aspects of Amendment I are far more nuanced than I have portrayed them above, and each will be covered in a later blog post. This post, however, will focus on freedom of speech, and discuss its limitations in American society today. 


What does freedom of speech mean? 
Freedom of speech is a term that is often used lightly without a solid definition. At its most broad definition, freedom of speech as enumerated in the First Amendment prohibits the government from infringing on or banning speech because it disagrees with the content being expressed. 

Over the past several centuries though, the term "free speech" has become more complex.Freedom of speech has come to include the right not to speak (West Virginia Board of Education v. Barnette), the right to advertise (Virginia Board of Pharmacy v. Virginia Consumer Council), and the right to contribute to political campaigns (Bucky v. Valeo). ​The term speech itself has been complicated by decisions like that in Texas v. Johnson, which ruled that burning a flag constitutes a form of "symbolic speech" that is protected by Amendment I, and that of Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission, which ruled that the spending of money is constitutionally protected speech that cannot be restricted by the government. 

Freedom of speech, thought it has become more complex over the centuries since it was enumerated in the United States Constitution, still generally refers to the natural right of an individual to speak freely without fear or threat of censorship by the government or any government institution. 

What kind of speech is not protected by Amendment I?
The United States guarantees more freedom of speech than anywhere else in the world, but there are certain forms of speech that are not protected by Amendment I or other speech law. These include:
  • Speech that intently, effectively, and immediately incites violence
  • True threats
  • Obscenity 
  • The burning of draft cards
  • Slander and defamation
​Entire books have been written on the nuances of each of the above topics. Generally, speech that is unprotected is that which poses a real and direct threat to the welfare of others. In these circumstances, the government can legally restrict speech. 

One of the most important things to remember about the First Amendment is that it lays out the rules that govern free speech in the public domain. There are a slew of other speech issues that come with speech when it is moved into the private sector. 

How are the rules different for speech in the private sector?
It is important to keep in mind that the First Amendment protects freedom of speech from infringement by the government; Amendment I does not prohibit private entities from violating individual freedoms. As such, freedom of speech is not a legally held right in private workplaces or universities. Though there are laws to protect employees from discrimination, there is no constitutionally protected freedom of speech in the workplace. Public sector employees enjoy the right to free speech in the workplace, although employers may restrict free speech in order to ensure a functional workplace. 

Universities follow a similar structure. Any censorship of protected speech at a public university constitutes government censorship, and it is thus forbidden. Private universities, however, reserve the right to craft any kind of speech restrictions they see fit. Throughout American history, private universities prided themselves on holding higher education to a standard of free expression even higher than that which is guaranteed in the Constitution. This culture has shifted over the course of the past decade though, as students continue to demand more restrictive speech codes in the name of protesting harassment and discrimination. A later article will consider why such speech codes are counterproductive.

Why should I care? 
Freedom of speech is one of the attributes that makes the United States a strong nation. It allows democracy to flourish, constructive disagreement to occur, and the nation to progress. Knowing your rights is imperative to ensuring that freedom of speech is both protected and properly utilized. As this blog continues, we will cover issues such as internet speech, the value of constructive disagreement, and how freedom of speech contributes to American democracy. Until then, we encourage you to leave your comments below! Are there any free speech basics we missed? Are there specific codes and legal decisions with which you disagree? Let us know, and contribute your voice to our conversation. After all, freedom of speech is meaningless unless we utilize it. 

-Alexis Mealey


1 Comment

The 8 Most Important Things to Do in the First Week of College

6/26/2018

0 Comments

 
The first week of college is a beautiful, messy whirlwind that you will never forget. In many ways, it sets the tone for the rest of your semester. Nonetheless, it can be stressful. You are living away from home, getting what feels like a hundred syllabuses for your new classes, trying to make friends, finding your way around campus, and so much more. It is easy to get caught up and overwhelmed in all of the excitement, but it is important to stay grounded and start your semester off right. Here are eight tips to help you remain calm, cool, and collected in your first week of school.
  1. Unpack ALL of your boxes. Yes, all of them. Resist the temptation to leave that one lonely box filled with things you didn't think you would need but your parents demanded that you bring with you sitting in your corner until October. Unpacking all of your boxes gives you a sense of belonging in your new dorm. Your dorm becomes a home base for you to hold onto on a bustling new campus. By getting that space in order as soon as you arrive at school, you take control of your semester and your college experience.
  2. Attend all of your classes. You will probably hear a lot of, "It's syllabus week! You don't need to go to class!" during your first week of college. Don't listen. Syllabus week is one of the most important weeks of the semester. It gives you a chance to learn your schedule, get comfortable with moving around your campus, and put all of your important test dates into your Google Calendar. Skipping syllabus week may seem fun, but figuring out you had a weekend reading assignment for Politics of the American Presidency when your professor hands you a pop quiz on it Monday morning is not. 
  3. Find study spaces that fit your needs. I am a die-hard advocate of the study-in-bed method, but my best friend cannot finish a paper unless she is sitting in Lamont Library. Take some time to explore your campus libraries, coffee shops, and common areas to figure out where you like to study. It may seem unnecessary when you don't have any "real work" yet, but knowing where to study for that huge Economics midterm the night before the test can be a lifesaver.
  4. Eat in your campus dining halls. Even if the food is awful, campus dining halls are a great place to get to know people, and no time is better than the first week of school. It can feel awkward to sit next to someone you have never met and start talking, but keep in mind that everyone else is feeling the same way. Break the ice with a compliment, then ask to sit next to someone. I promise that you will be surprised by how quick the conversation starts to feel natural. Who knows, you could even meet your new best friend.
  5. Sit towards the front in your classes. Even if you are not the type of person who likes to raise their hand and talk in class, sit at the front of your classes. It shows the professor that you are engaged in the class, and getting to know my professors was one of the highlights of my first-year experience. Moreover, sitting in the front of the class helps you stay on track. It's easier to switch from your notes to Twitter in the back of a two hundred person lecture than it is to start texting in the front of the room when your professor is watching.
  6. Establish some room guidelines with your roommates. I was blessed to have some phenomenal roommates my first year of college, but it is still important to establish ground rules for how you want your room to operate. Establish a cleaning schedule, so that no one person is stuck bearing the brunt of the workload. Talk about what time you will need to go to sleep and get up, so your roommate isn't blasting country music at 3am when you have an 8am the next morning. Be open to hearing new ideas, and don't be afraid to share your own. Open communication is crucial to the success of any living situation, and it is important to establish it from the beginning.
  7. Call your parents. I called or FaceTimed my parents every single day of my first year of college. One of my closest friends only talked to her parents once a week at the most. Both of these are perfectly normal and acceptable, but make sure you call your parents at least once in your first week of school. This is almost as big of a transition for them as it is for you, and letting them know how you are adjusting will mean the world to them.
  8. Ask for help. No one has all of the answers for how to make your college experience perfect and Pinterest-worthy, but asking for help is a great way to begin adjusting to your new lifestyle. Whether it is asking an upperclassman how to find your way to a building on campus or inquiring with your Office of Student Life about mental health services, asking for help is the best way to get vital information that will ensure your college success. No one expects you to have all of the answers in your first week of school, and there is no shame in needing help. You will be surprised to find how many warm, welcoming people there are who are more than willing to help you orient yourself on campus.
College is an amazing experience that I am still in the midst of today, but it does not have to be perfect. You are going to make mistakes, especially during your first week of school, but one of the most important things I have learned in college so far is that mistakes are some of the best opportunities we have for growth. So enjoy that beautiful, messy, unforgettable whirlwind, mistakes and all, because you only get to do it once.
​-Alexis Mealey
0 Comments

Why blog?

6/25/2018

0 Comments

 
Picture
Welcome to the Foster Russell Family Foundation blog! Since you are here, you probably know a bit about the FRFF. If not, our mission statement is "Inspiring free speech, social change and empowerment through education and mentorship." We believe that integrity, inclusion, and focus on our shared humanity are the keys to unlocking the totality of human potential. To promote these beliefs, we have created numerous educational programs to take to schools and businesses across the country that promote exercising free speech, encouraging inclusion, and building meaningful connections. Our founder, Karith Foster, is an author, speaker, and humorist who brings these programs across the country with the hopes of producing communities that are more thoughtful and inclusive. You may be wondering how this blog fits into our mission.
We created this blog because we want to connect with students across the country, regardless of whether Karith has come to your campus. We want to create an online community that mimics the values we seek to create in society: integrity, inclusion, and a focus on our humanity.
This blog will cover topics such as free speech, inclusion, and stereotyping, but it will also deal with everyday issues facing college students, such as how to handle your first networking event or deal with homesickness. We hope that in using this blog, we can start genuine conversations about philosophical and social issues, but we also hope to use this site as a platform to help one another succeed in everyday life. It is our hope that by helping one another, we learn to care about each other more deeply to create a stronger, more inclusive online community.
We cannot, however, build this online community without you. We want this blog to be a group effort. Please share your comments on each of our posts, and share honestly. Tell us what you like, what you dislike, and how we can be better. Create respectful dialogues with one another in the comments section. Your voice is essential to this community. It matters, and we want you to share your voice openly in this space.
So welcome to our blog! We hope that you will continue to check our page and engage in our conversation. 
0 Comments

    Archives

    January 2019
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    College Advice
    Free Expression
    FRFF Favorites
    Motivation

Programs
Events
Booking
Give

Picture

Foster Russell Alliance for Meaningful Expression is a participant of the UCommunity - UPrintingSponsorship Program.

Picture

​

The Foster Russell Alliance for Meaningful Expression is a registered 501(c)(3), all rights reserved.
  • Programs
    • Event Booking
    • Stereotyped 101
    • You Can Be Perfect...OR You Can Be Happy
    • You Are Enough
    • The Humor Initiative
    • Can We Speak Freely?
    • Laughter Bootcamp
    • Recommendations
  • EVENTS
  • Give
  • Communicate