11 Ways to Wow at your Next Networking Event

Small talk echoes about you as newly minted business cards pass from person to person, as if by way of slight of hand tricks. You look for a familiar face, but find yourself lost in a sea of well-tailored suits and little black dresses. Forced laughter bounces from wall to wall. Your heart beats faster, hands holding on more tightly to that brand new briefcase. You anxiously walk to the bar for some water, avoiding eye contact while secretly hoping someone notices that one statement necklace you so carefully selected with the hope that someone would notice you and start the conversation so that you would not have to approach them first: welcome to your first networking event. 

Okay, that may have been a bit over-dramatic. Today, I love networking events, especially as a student. I was not always so fond of waltzing up to strangers and introducing myself though, and the situation I described above is pretty much a play-by-play of how my first networking event went. It was awkward. I stuck to the corners, had a few meaningless conversations, and left feeling defeated. 

How did I go from discouraged by networking to energized by the very thought of it? I changed my mindset. When I went to my first networking event, I saw it as a chance to get ahead, to make my impression on someone important and leave feeling good about myself. It wasn't until after I had left that event that I realized how such a perspective was preventing me from doing just that. 

Networking is a term that tends to dehumanize your interactions with other people at events. I only started to enjoy networking when I thought about what "networking" really means: building meaningful connections with other people. By meaningful, I don't mean important to succeeding in your career aspirations or to building resume. I am talking about building meaningful human connections to other people, beginning to build a relationship with them because you are generally interested in who they are and what they do rather than how they can benefit you. Start with that mindset, follow these eleven tips, and I promise that your first networking experience will be more enjoyable than mine. 

1. Dress for optimal confidence. There is nothing worse than being uncomfortable in your outfit at a networking event. Dress in clothing that fits the dress code of the event and makes you feel confident. Try to wear something memorable. That way, when you follow up, you can reference what you wore, and stick out in the memory of someone with whom you connected. My go-to networking outfit is a bright red dress with a black blazer and coordinated red lipstick. It makes me feel confident in my presentation of myself, and it is easy to reference in a follow-up letter or email. 
2. Be prepared with business cards. It can be difficult to know what to write on a business card as a student when employment positions are fluid and often part-time. A good rule of thumb is to include your name, university, graduating class, and contact information. If you would like to share social media (especially LinkedIn), you can include that information as well. While it is important to have business cards on hand, be wary of distributing them to everyone in the room. It can make you seem disingenuous. Only give a business card to someone who requests it, or someone with whom you have made a strong connection. 
3. Do not be afraid to make the first move. There are few feelings more awkward than standing by the wall of a networking event with no one to talk to and nowhere to go. Do not be afraid to walk up to someone and begin a conversation. Remember that you have a right to be at the event, and everyone there is in the same position as you. If you are very shy or uncomfortable with making a move like that, bring an extroverted friend with you. Approach people together, and allow them to break the ice for you to hop into the conversation. All that being said, do not interrupt someone in the middle of a conversation. It comes off as abrasive and makes a poor first impression. 
4. Have a firm handshake. You have probably heard this one time and time again, but it is more important than you can imagine. When you shake someone's hand, maintain a firm grip, but avoid being overpowering. Make eye contact when you shake hands, maintain the handshake for two to five seconds, and include a greeting with it. Displaying confidence in your handshake is one way to grab someone's attention and engage them from the beginning of your interaction. 
5. Start the conversation with a (genuine) compliment. Do not exchange pleasantries for the shake of flattery, but if you have a genuine compliment to give, it can be a great way to get the conversation moving. What made you want to go up and talk to that person in the first place? Was it their interesting tie or checkered blazer? Did you recognize them from an article or TV appearance that you enjoyed? Knowing why you chose to engage with that person can be a great way to compliment them at the beginning of a conversation. 
6. Ask questions. This is part of the idea that networking should be about building connections instead of getting ahead. Ask questions about the other person's life. Ask them what they do, and follow up by asking them why they do it. You want to get to know them, and if they are there for the right reasons, they want to get to know you as well. When you are asked questions, answer them directly and honestly. Authenticity goes a long way, especially in shorter interactions. Remember that networking should be a conversation. Make a genuine attempt to get to know the person with whom you are connecting. 
7. Make eye contact. Yes, you may be distracted by your phone buzzing in your pocket or that loud laughter coming from the opposite side of the room, but resist the urge to become distracted. Eye contact is a sign of engagement and respect. It shows the other person that you value their time and are enjoying the conversation. On the other hand, don't stare into their eyes so much that it makes them uncomfortable. Make eye contact for four to six seconds at a time before looking away, and continue to do so throughout the conversation. 
8. Have strong body language. It is estimated that anywhere from 60 to 90 percent of all communication is nonverbal. Body language, especially when meeting someone for the first time, is thus crucially important to making a strong impression. Have strong posture, keeping your shoulders back and chin raised slightly. Smile. Try not to cross your arms, as this indicates a lack of confidence and openness to a conversation. I believe myself to be a confident person, but I have a horrible habit of crossing my arms for comfort. One trick to prevent this is to hold a drink in your hand while talking. This both looks natural and prevents unconscious behaviors that could weaken your body language. 
9. Do not brag. Be proud of your accomplishments, and be honest if someone asks you about them. Do not go out of your way to brag about yourself though. Of course, part of networking is making yourself seem like a connection worth having, but do so through your personality and engagement in your conversations rather than by bragging about your accomplishments. Individuals will see you as someone worth connecting them if you are confident, respectful, and engaging. They probably will not remember that you are president of your school's juggling society, but they will remember if you made a genuine effort to get to know them.
10. Only request a business card if you feel a connection. Asking someone you just met for a business card can feel awkward, but if you have put the effort into building a real connection, it should feel like a natural next step to continuing the conversation. Do not feel obligated to ask for someone's card just because you spoke with them, and do not feel obligated to offer yours either. Only ask for or offer a card if you feel as if you would enjoy continuing your conversation with that person. 
11. Follow up. When you make a great connection with someone, you should want to continue the conversation after the networking event ends. Following up with an email (or better yet, a handwritten note) allows you to strengthen your relationship with that person while also helping you to cement your interaction into their mind. Following up is a sign of courtesy, respect, and genuine interest that so infrequently accompanies networking events. 

Even though I have learned to love networking, it can still be difficult at times. I will not guarantee that any of these tips will land you that coveted position as McKinsey and Co. after a phenomenal interaction with a recruiter, but I can promise that changing your mindset towards the networking process will benefit you down the road. Are there tips I missed here? What are your favorite strategies for successful networking experiences! Share your comments below, and we can build some connections right here.